The Power of the Pause: Why Waiting Works in Language Development

A professional guide for speech-language pathologists, early interventionists, and educators

By Dr. Cherina Williams, Creator of HomeGoals™

A joyful baby giggles in delight as they play with a colorful toy, engaging with a caregiver during a fun and interactive moment in the high chair.

The Scene Every Professional Recognizes

You're in session with a 2-year-old and her mom. You ask the child, "Where's the ball?"

One second passes.

The mom jumps in: "The ball! It's right here, sweetie! See the ball?"

The child never got a chance to respond.

Sound familiar?

This scenario plays out hundreds of times a day in therapy rooms, early intervention sessions, and living rooms across the country. And while the parent's intention is pure—they want to help their child succeed—they're actually preventing the very skill they're trying to build: independent communication.

The antidote? Wait time.

But here's the challenge: Teaching wait time to parents (and even to ourselves) requires intentional coaching, specific strategies, and an understanding of the neuroscience behind why waiting works.

Let's talk about the power of the pause.

A clinician sits at a desk, taking notes and contemplating research that highlights the importance of waiting for a toddler's response, emphasizing careful engagement in child development studies.

What the Research Tells Us

Recent research using magnetoencephalography (MEG) with children who have developmental language disorder (DLD) found that cortical tracking of speech shows impaired retention of acoustic-phonetic information at 200-300 millisecond delays (Nora et al., 2024). Translation: These children need MORE processing time, not less.

Studies consistently show that children's responses are longer in length and more complex when adults provide increased wait time—ideally 5 to 10 seconds (Girolametto et al., 1996; Girolametto et al., 1999).

But here's what most professionals don't realize: The average adult waits only 1-2 seconds before filling the silence. For children with language delays, this isn't nearly enough time.

The gap between what research says (5-10 seconds) and what actually happens in practice (1-2 seconds) is where intervention needs to focus.

Why Filling Silence Backfires

When we jump in too quickly, three things happen:

1. We signal to the child that they're too slow

The message becomes: "You can't do this on your own, so I'll do it for you." Over time, this erodes the child's confidence and willingness to try.

2. We prevent practice opportunities

Every time we fill the silence, we rob the child of a chance to retrieve language, plan their motor movements, and attempt communication. Repetition builds neural pathways—but only if they get to practice.

3. We reinforce a passive communication pattern

If the child learns that adults will always answer for them, why bother trying? They become passive participants in conversations rather than active communicators.

The solution? Intentional, coached wait time.

The Measurement Gap: What We're Missing

Here's what happens in most early intervention sessions:

We thoroughly assess the child. We measure their receptive language, expressive vocabulary, MLU, phonological skills. We have standardized tests, developmental scales, progress monitoring tools.

Then we teach wait time to the parent. And we assume they can do it.

We never ask:

• Does this parent have the emotional regulation to tolerate 10 seconds of silence?

• Do they understand WHY the pause matters (not just WHAT to do)?

• Is their natural interaction style compatible with wait time, or are we asking them to work against their instincts?

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We measure the child thoroughly. We measure the parent's implementation... never.

This is why wait time fails for some families and works beautifully for others. It's not the strategy. It's that we never assessed whether the parent was ready for it.

The HomeGoals approach changes this.

Teaching parents the value of wait time can significantly enhance their child's language development and overall communication skills.

How to Assess Before You Teach Wait Time

Before you coach parents on wait time strategies, you need to know where the child is developmentally. This is where the HomeGoals™ Parent Survey becomes essential.

Why Start With Assessment?

Wait time strategies look different depending on the child's current communication level:

• Pre-verbal communicators (0-10 words): You're waiting for sounds, gestures, or eye gaze

• Early word users (10-50 words): You're waiting for single words

• Word combiners (50+ words, starting phrases): You're waiting for 2-3 word combinations

• Sentence builders (200+ words, complex sentences): You're waiting for full sentences or elaboration

The HomeGoals™ Parent Survey gives you:

• The child's current vocabulary size

• What types of communication they're using (gestures, sounds, words, sentences)

• Parent perception of delays vs. strengths

• Starting points for coaching

This assessment takes 5-10 minutes and gives you everything you need to individualize wait time coaching.

Coaching Demonstration #1: Teaching Wait Time to Parents

Here's how to explicitly teach wait time during a coaching session:

What You Say to Parents:

"I want to show you something powerful. When we ask [child] a question, I'm going to stay quiet and just wait. It's going to feel really long—like, uncomfortably long. But I want you to watch what happens."

What You Model:

Ask a question:"You want the ball?"

Count silently to 7 - maintain eye contact, lean in slightly, keep your face interested

If the child doesn't respond, add a visual cue (point to the ball)

Count to 5 more

If still no response: Model the word once - "Ball."

Debrief Immediately:

"Did you feel how long that wait was? I counted to 7 seconds before I pointed, then 5 more. That's about 12 seconds total. It felt like forever, right?"

[Parent nods]

"But here's the thing—[Little sugar] needed that time. Their brain was working the whole time: processing the question, figuring out if they know that word, planning how to say it. When we jump in too fast, we steal that processing time from them."

"Now I want YOU to try it. Pick something they want. Ask them about it. Then count to 7 in your head. I'll count with you so it doesn't feel so awkward."

Why this works:

• You normalize the discomfort ("It felt like forever, right?")

• You explain the neuroscience simply (processing time)

• You give them immediate practice with your support

Coaching Demonstration #2: Teaching Parents How Long to Wait (By Level)

Wait time isn't one-size-fits-all. Here's how to coach based on the child's current level:

For Pre-Verbal Children (Gestures, Sounds):

What You Coach: "With [Little sugar], we're looking for ANY response—a sound, pointing, eye contact. We'll wait up to 10 seconds. If nothing happens, we'll model what we wanted them to do, like pointing or making a sound."

What You Model: Hold up two toys. Say nothing. Wait 10 seconds. If no response, point to one and make a sound: "Ooh!" Then offer again.

For Early Word Users (10-50 words):

What You Coach: "[Little sugar] is starting to use some words. When we ask a question, we'll wait 7-10 seconds. If they don't say the word, we'll model it once, then pause again to see if they'll try."

What You Model: "Do you want more?" [Wait 7 seconds] "More." [Wait 5 more seconds] [If still nothing, move on]

For Word Combiners (50+ words, learning phrases):

What You Coach: "[Little sugar] knows a lot of single words. Now we're working on putting two words together. We'll ask questions that need more than one word, then wait 5-7 seconds. If they only say one word, we'll expand it and wait again."

What You Model: "What do you want?" [Wait 5 seconds] Child: "Cookie."You: "Want cookie!" [Wait 5 seconds—give them a chance to repeat]

For Sentence Builders (200+ words, complex language):

What You Coach: "[Little sugar] can say full sentences. Now we're working on longer answers and back-and-forth conversation. We'll ask open-ended questions and wait 5 seconds for their response. If it's short, we'll expand and wait again to keep the conversation going."

What You Model: "What did you do at school today?" [Wait 5 seconds] Child: "I played."You: "Oh! You played! What did you play with?" [Wait 5 seconds]

Discover how to fix common mistakes in parent coaching

Common Mistakes Professionals Make (And How to Fix Them)

Mistake #1: Not Actually Counting

The Problem: We think we're waiting 5 seconds, but it's really only 2.

The Fix: Literally count in your head during sessions. Model this for parents: "I'm going to count to 5 out loud so you can feel how long it is. One... two... three... four... five. See? That felt long, didn't it?"

Mistake #2: Breaking Eye Contact During the Wait

The Problem: When we look away or turn our body, the child thinks the interaction is over.

The Fix: Stay engaged. Lean in. Keep your face interested. The nonverbal message is: "I'm waiting for YOU. Take your time."

Mistake #3: Asking Multiple Questions in a Row

The Problem: "Do you want the ball? Or the car? What about this one?" The child never had a chance to process the first question.

The Fix: One question. Then wait. If no response after 10 seconds, simplify or add a visual cue. Don't pile on more language.

Mistake #4: Waiting Too Long Without Support

The Problem: Waiting 30+ seconds with no response creates frustration, not learning.

The Fix: The wait time hierarchy:

1. Wait 5-7 seconds (silent)

2. Add a visual cue (point, gesture)

3. Wait 5 more seconds

4. Model the word/phrase once

5. Move on if still no response

Waiting is powerful, but it's not magic. If they don't have the skill yet, model it and try again later.

Supporting parents through coaching: HomeGoals Professional Training fosters guidance and care by strengthening the bond between parent and child.

How HomeGoals™ Professional Training Supports This Work

Teaching wait time isn't a one-time conversation. It's a skill that requires:

• Assessment of the child's current level

• Individualized coaching strategies

• Modeling and practice during sessions

• Follow-up to ensure parents are implementing with fidelity

• Adjustments as the child's language grows

This is where professional training becomes essential.

HomeGoals™ Certification (Bachelor's Level)

For practitioners who work directly with families, certification teaches you:

• How to assess using the HomeGoals™ Parent Survey

• Wait time coaching strategies for each developmental level

• Real-time feedback techniques during parent-child interactions

• Word-for-word scripts for teaching wait time at home

Investment: $1,400

Format: Self-paced online modules + live Q&A sessions

Includes: Certification certificate, digital tools, parent handouts

[Learn More About Certification →]

HomeGoals™ Professional Training (Master's Level)

For program directors, clinical supervisors, and trainers, professional training teaches you:

• How to train your entire team to coach wait time with fidelity

• Designing parent coaching protocols for your agency

• Monitoring implementation across practitioners

• Creating sustainable, family-centered care systems

Investment: Starting at $2,200 (varies by agency size)

Format: Customized training for your organization

Includes: Train-the-trainer materials, implementation guides, ongoing support

[Explore Professional Training Options →]

Coaching parents in the art of patience, emphasizing the importance of waiting for the right moment.

The Bottom Line

Wait time is one of the most powerful—and most underused—strategies in early language intervention.

It costs nothing. It requires no materials. But it demands intentionality, coaching, and practice.

When we teach parents to pause, we teach them to:

• Trust their child's ability to communicate

• Create space for language to emerge

• Build confidence in both themselves and their child

And when we, as professionals, model wait time consistently, we show families what truly responsive, child-centered interaction looks like.

What to Do Next

✅ Start with assessment: Use the HomeGoals™ Parent Survey to identify the child's current communication level

✅ Model wait time in every session: Count silently. Stay engaged. Show parents what 5-10 seconds really feels like

✅ Coach explicitly: Don't assume parents will "figure it out." Teach them the exact number of seconds to wait

✅ Follow up: Check in at the next session. Did they practice? What felt hard? Adjust as needed

Want the complete HomeGoals™ framework, including assessment tools, coaching scripts, and parent handouts?

[Explore HomeGoals™ Certification and Professional Training →]

References

Girolametto, L., Pearce, P. S., & Weitzman, E. (1996). Interactive focused stimulation for toddlers with expressive vocabulary delays. Journal of Speech and Hearing Research, 39(6), 1274–1283. https://doi.org/10.1044/jshr.3906.1274

Girolametto, L., Weitzman, E., Wiigs, M., & Pearce, P. S. (1999). The relationship between maternal language measures and language development in toddlers with expressive vocabulary delays. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 8(4), 364–374. https://doi.org/10.1044/1058-0360.0804.364

Nora, A., Rinkinen, O., Renvall, H., Service, E., Arkkila, E., Smolander, S., Laasonen, M., & Salmelin, R. (2024). Impaired cortical tracking of speech in children with developmental language disorder. Journal of Neuroscience, 44(22), e2048232024. https://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.2048-23.2024